After the last post some friends expressed worries about us. If I had any concerns about the strength of my marriage I would not be doing this. Lewis and I discussed it before we started and agreed the posts would never be hurtful and if either of us had any reservations about anything it would not be published. Honestly, we just thought people would find our predicaments funny.
Part of being married or being in a relationship is disagreeing. Once upon a time I thought that a perfect relationship was never disagreeing, never not being in sync, never being angry with each other, never not being, well, perfect!! We are brain washed as little girls that a man will fulfill all of our fantasies and whisk us away to a castle in the sky. It didn’t matter that I had a living example to base life on, the romance novels and chick flicks have a strong influence of their own. My parents have been together almost 50 years and while their marriage is, like all, not perfect, they have found a balance.
The remodel process hasn’t been all bad. Contractor Don and his team have been great to work with, Lewis and I have been communicating a million times better than on the last project, the Dream Team of designers is amazing, (Dana Jones the Kitchen Consultant, Cynthia Pastor of Cynthia Pastor Designs, Susan Steele of Fibers and Floors). The blog is about the negative aspects and the disputes because, well, it’s called Remodeling Purgatory. Who wants to read about how fabulously things are going? A train wreck is what people crane their necks to see, not cars smoothly humming along a track.
The blog has forced us to discuss everything and really talk our differences through, to dissect and plod through each issue until it is fully resolved and not left to fester like flesh eating bacteria until it destroys a body part. Guys want to just “get over it” but a conflict needs to be scrutinized and inspected and both parties need to be heard so that the issue can be put away and forgotten about.
We know we’re not the only ones going through this and at times it is painful but the humor outweighs the heartaches!
Of course you hear the horror stories of marriages falling apart because of a remodel. And yes I can see how and why that happens but we are making it through, of course with the occasional raised voices and disagreements. Most of the biggest disagreements come from trying to figure out when Janelle wants to discuss something and it always seems that my timing is off. So far the train has not derailed.
What misconceptions do people have about you?